Mayor Barrington Billshot looked down upon the smouldering valley of
Omahl. A stench similar to an out of control barbeque filled his nostrils.
Pangs of hunger gripped his stomach.
Most of the villagers were sitting behind the mayor, too distressed to
even look at the three kilometre wide crater that was once their home.
Mayor Billshot turned to face his fellow villagers. “Cheer up!”
he said positively. “Remember what High-Tech Green Thing said? He’ll
build us a brand new village. That’ll be nice, won’t it?”
At the back of the crowd, old Mrs Wabble struggled to her feet, using
her homemade walking frame for support. “That Green Thing is a reckless,
babbling, manure-eating water closet!” she yelled, making no attempt
to contain her anger. “He should be banished from this world!”
“We must respect his decision.” The mayor replied. “He
only destroyed our homes and our livelihoods because he had to, not because
he wanted to.”
Mrs Wabble was shaking with rage. “Rubbish! He is a sadistic deviant!”
“Please relax, Mrs Wabble. Remember how deadly the slime was? It
would have devoured all of us if it hadn’t been destroyed. High-Tech
Green Thing has given us an opportunity to begin a brand new existence.”
There was no persuading Mrs Wabble. “Your name should be Bullshit,
not Billshot! You worship that egotistical high-tech arse as though he
were a god!”
The mayor frowned. “Now now, Mrs Wabble. There’s no need to
insult me like that. I’m simply trying to help you understand the
The miserable old lady fumed. “I’ll give you a situation to
understand!” She started to hobble towards the mayor, wielding her
walking frame above her head in a remarkable and disturbing show of strength.
The mayor was troubled. “Mrs Wabble, please! Calm down. This is
no way for a dear old lady such as you to act.”
“I’m going to smash your mouth up good and proper!”
Mrs wabble screamed, here eyes bloodshot and bulging with anger. She started
to swing the walking frame round and round. “Prepare to spit teeth!”
Just as Mayor Billshot was beginning to think that an expensive visit
to his dentist was inevitable, old Mrs Wabble disappeared into a hole
in the ground. An agonising scream was heard, followed by a familiar gurgling
noise. A powerful spurt of blood leapt out of the hole, showering several
villagers. A final shriek was followed by several dull crunches. The shattered
bones of Mrs Wabble, along with several shreds of old and wrinkly flesh,
were ejected high into the air. The remains of the old lady landed next
to the mayor.
All was quiet.
The villagers looked on, stunned by the recent events. After another second
of silence they cheered. Everyone hated Mrs Wabble. She was a nosy, interfering
old gossip monger with a grudge against the universe.
Mayor Billshot felt elated at the gruesome end of Mrs Wabble, but his
professionalism and status prevented him from showing it. “Calm
yourselves, fellow villagers.”
The villagers’ fell silent.
The mayor continued. “We must leave immediately. The slime is back!”
Gasps of shock emanated from the villagers as they watched the slime squelch
its way out of the hole and creep towards them.
A chilling whisper was heard. “B l o o d . . .”
The villagers, lead by Mayor Billshot, began to run along the hilltop
in a vain attempt to escape. The slime oozed after them.