"A massive enemy fleet has just entered orbit!" Chief Officer
"Give me more details." Commander Pepe said.
"Six thousand two hundred and forty two small ships, three command
ships each approximately ten kilometres in length, and one huge mothership
over forty kilometres in length!"
"Things suddenly look tough." The commander said, taking his seat
at his console. "Use the palace's energy cannons at will."
"And initialise the LARDBALLS."
The LARDBALLS (LAst Resort De-stabilisation Blaster And Lightening Liquidisation
System) was a weapon of sensational potency. When fired, its beam penetrated
deep into even the largest of targets, shaking loose all fittings, however
securely fastened, and creating chaos and mayhem. Then, slowly over several
minutes, the target is converted into a liquid which quietly disperses into
nothing. A phenomenal amount of power was needed to fire the device. In
fact, LARDBALLS required almost all the power that the Palace of Amino could
Two of the newly arrived command ships moved towards Enchantia's defence
grid under a barrage of fierce fire. They began to return the fire with
evil exactitude. The exchange of energy was unnervingly accurate, destroying
dozens of fighters caught in the crossfire.
Without warning, a bright quartet of beams left the planet's surface and
connected with one of the ships. It shuddered under the impact as unpredictable
surges of power thrashed across its shields, seriously weakening them.
A few seconds later the other ship received the same treatment. The process
was repeated weakening them both even further. One of them began to pitch
and roll uncontrollably into the grid of defence stations. The grid fired
on it with maximum intensity, ripping its armour plating clean away from
its hull. The command ship's guns blazed in a desperate attempt to destroy
its opponents but to no avail. The ship blew apart in a cloud of white
heat and vapour, engulfing its companion and stripping that ship's hull
of all protection. The other ship was now defenceless. Another blast from
the palace was the finishing blow. The second ship exploded with cataclysmic
arrogance, sending shards of high velocity melting debris in all directions.
Kathwoman's mothership thrusted through the heart of the orbital battle,
blasting at every bounty hunter vessel that came within range.
Gazing through a view port was Lawrence. He watched the two command ships
as they exploded in spectacular fashion.
"No!" He screamed, grabbing the nearest cadet. With absolute
fury, the lord of vileness head-butted the crewman, cracking his forehead.
The cadet moaned as warm blood spouted from the gaping wound. Lawrence
pushed hard on the opening, squeezing the fingers of both his hands into
the cadet. With a diabolical grin on his face, the dark lord pulled his
hands apart, splitting the dazed man's skull in two and exposing his brain.
The cadet shuddered as Lawrence frantically scooped out several huge chunks
of grey matter. He proceeded to throw the chunks at the rest of the bridge
crew. "Destroy the bounty hunters!" Lawrence shrieked, dropping
the empty headed cadet to the floor. "I cannot tolerate any more
The various officers and cadets wiped the brain pulp from their control
consoles and returned to their duties.
The command ship of General Blubbard continued its slow escape attempt.
The maximum speed that it had been able to achieve using only its docking
thrusters was three hundred and twelve kilometres per hour.
"More speed!" The general bellowed as his ship was buffeted
by yet another attack by the two determined bounty hunter ships that had
been following closely for the last thirty minutes. "And why hasn't
anyone destroyed those two little ships yet?"
"They're amazing pilots." One of the gun officers said. "They're
just too fast to lock on to."
"Excuses!" General Blubbard shouted, pulling the officer off
his chair by his ears.
"Do that again!" The masochistic officer said excitedly.
The general looked at him in a curious manner, and then kicked him hard
in the face. Unconsciousness paid the man a rapid visit. Due to internal
bleeding, death also paid him a visit thirty seconds later.
The Morbid and the Satyr banked hard.
Ross Mental laughed as the pain of the fourteen gee turn ripped at the
very fabric of his mortality. "Fuckin' splendid!" He screamed
as the severely damaged hulk of General Blubbard's command ship honed
back into view.
"Let's concentrate our fire on its forward bulkheads." Sarah
Savage said, pulling alongside.
The command ship began to fire, less intensely than before due to a lack
of functioning cannons and energy. Both bounty hunter ships shuddered
under the impact.
"Our shields are weakening." Sarah Savage announced.
Ross Mental screamed. "Let's finish the fucker!"
The two ships flew with intense velocity towards the front of the huge
vessel, their guns blasting round after round of fusion bursts deep into
the gargantuan vessel’s frail hull.
"Ha fuckin' ha!" Ross Mental exclaimed as he watched a multitude
of explosions rock the entire craft.
The two bounty hunter ships passed under the massive warship and released
a potent spread of missiles and bomblets. The resulting damage was the
final straw for the command ship. Secondary explosions appeared all over
its hull sending sections of armour twisting and tumbling into space.
"I think we've done it!" Sarah Savage said proudly.
Ross Mental agreed. "That big baby is well and truly fucked!"
The Morbid and the Satyr left the scene and headed back towards Enchantia
and the ensuing orbital battle.
"What is happening?" General Blubbard shrieked as he was thrown
across the bridge of his ship for the sixty third time.
"Lateral stabilisers destroyed!" An officer shouted over the
sound of exploding equipment. "Weapons system overload! Primary power
failure! Life support has gone offline!"
The general yelled. "Sort it out!"
"I can't! It's too late! We're doomed! We're do…" The
officer's console exploded, shredding the skin off his face and slamming
him into a wall. He collapsed to the floor in a pool of warm blood.
The general walked briskly over to the main communications panel. Lawrence's
face appeared on the screen. "My lord." He said anxiously.
"What is it?" Lawrence screamed, wiping blood from his hands.
"Help me!" General Blubbard pleaded. "My ship is in ruins.
"Imbecile!" Lawrence interrupted. "I can't rely on anyone!"
"But my lord, save me and…"
"You will go down with your ship!"
"Please, my lord!"
"Die in torment! Ha ha ha harr!" Lawrence ended the communication.
The general sank to his knees and sobbed pathetically. A sub-cadet named
Ysabella walked up to him, avoiding a girder that clattered down from
"Don't cry, general" She said sweetly. "Let me comfort
The general looked up and grabbed her around the neck. He broke it with
ease. She slumped to the floor, her body twitching randomly.
Sad little whore, he thought to himself.
A blinding flash vaporised General Blubbard’s body…
"Look at that!" Sarah Savage shouted as she watched the hulking
vessel explode into fireball of white desolation.
"Cool as a foolish mule!" Angharad exclaimed with glee.
"Fuckin' nice!" Ross Mental articulated.
The Morbid and the Satyr rejoined the main conflict. Only one command
ship, one mothership, and a few hundred fighters remained. No problem.