After what seemed like an eternity of torturous climbing Jayne Eye-Catcher
reached the ledge from which Belinda was hanging. Using her muscular, well
toned arms, she pulled herself onto it. "Belinda? Are you OK?"
She asked, walking over to her.
Blood was dribbling from numerous lacerations to Belinda's face and body.
Her black skin tight suit had been slashed in several places. "I feel
faint!" She whimpered, gargling blood.
"Don't worry." Jayne Eye-Catcher said calmly. "I'll save
you!" She lay down and attempted to pull the inverted Belinda up onto
the ledge. The heat of the bubbling lava flows deep in the abyss below was
"Leave her!" A voice screeched from behind.
A deafening crack shuddered Jayne Eye-Catcher's ear drums. It was followed
several milliseconds later by a profound collection of excruciating pains
from her back. Ignoring the agony with expert mental control, Jayne Eye-Catcher
leapt to her feet. Kathwoman, the most villainous female in the galaxy,
stood before her, brandishing a serrated whip and smiling dryly. Without
saying a word, she lashed fiercely at Jayne Eye-Catcher once again. This
time the bounty hunter had a moment to dodge the supersonic slash.
"Bounty bitch!" Kathwoman screamed. "The orifice of death
is wide open. Soon you and your feeble partner will plunge into its clamouring
"You've just said your last line of bullshit." Jayne Eye-Catcher
said, drawing her blaster from its holster. "In the name of the Superior
Beings of the Great Hall of the Palace of Amino, I arrest you on the charge
of being evil and horrendous beyond the comprehension of mortal beings.
Surrender your weapon or die."
In an instant Kathwoman drew her own blaster and fired. A bolt of yellow
energy fizzed its way towards Jayne Eye-Catcher. Jayne Eye-Catcher's digitally
intensified reflexes returned fire. Both energy beams met at the midpoint
between the two powerful warriors and cancelled each other out in a flash
of multi-coloured light.
"Impressive!" Kathwoman said dropping her whip and gun. "But
let's fight in a more civilised way."
Jayne Eye-Catcher was tempted to blast the unarmed Kathwoman's face into
charred powder, but her sense of honour forced her to resist. "No problem!"
She said, dropping her blaster. "You do realise that I will have to
kill you painfully for resisting arrest."
"I realise that you have to try, but you will not succeed."
The two mega-women approached each other with excessive seriousness. Kathwoman
leapt into the air and performed a brisk snap kick to Jayne Eye-Catcher's
chest. The bounty hunter buckled in pain and fell against the ledge wall.
Recovering instantly, Jayne Eye-Catcher dropped to the ground and kicked
Kathwoman's left knee. She fell forward, grimacing with rage. The bounty
hunter took the opportunity to elbow the queen of evil's face, splitting
her nose with ease.
Kathwoman screamed, grabbed Jayne Eye-Catcher's ears, and began to pound
her head against the rock face. "I'm going to crack open you skull
and munch on your brain!" She gurgled with satanic delight.
"No." Jayne Eye-Catcher replied with enhanced calmness. "I
don't think that you are!" She gripped Kathwoman's neck and began to
squeeze hard. The bitch of badness groaned and released her hold. "Got
you!" Jayne Eye-Catcher exclaimed, pulling Kathwoman to the ground
and clambering on top of her.
Her cry of victory was slightly premature. A deep pain erupted from Jayne
Eye-Catcher's right side. She released her grip in stunned shock. Kathwoman
had somehow managed to stab her with a twelve inch knife all the way up
to the hilt.
"No." Kathwoman said withdrawing the blade and pushing the grievous
injured bounty hunter to the ground. "I think I've got you."
Jayne Eye-Catcher howled as her pain suppression implant ceased to function.
Kathwoman rose to her feet and picked up her blaster and whip. "I'm
sick of all of this fighting." She announced with a slight touch of
boredom. "Time for you to die!"
The Blenheim, complete with its perforate hull, thrusted erratically through
a deep canyon.
"Kathwoman's mothership has lost its lock on us." Panman said.
"Excellent!" Peter the Ace said. "Now we can concentrate on
finding Jayne and Belinda."
"Nice! I'll begin deep scanning." Panman activated his elaborate
sensor systems. A bright flash of sparks blazed across the control panel.
"WARNING: COMPLETE SENSOR SYSTEM FAILURE."
"That shouldn't have happened." Peter the Ace said, remaining
calm and collected.
"Your right! Blenheim, explain why the sensors failed."
"SENSOR SYSTEM FAILURE OCCURRED DUE TO COMPUTER CORE STRUCTURAL DAMAGE."
"Switch to backup systems."
"SWITCHING TO BACKUP SYSTEMS… WARNING: BACKUP SYSTEMS FAILURE."
"AUTO REPAIR SYSTEM FAILURE HAS OCCURRED."
"REPAIR SYSTEM FAILURE OCCURRED DUE TO COMPUTER CORE STRUCTURAL DAMAGE."
"Really?" Panman said. "What else could fail?"
"HIGH LEVEL INTELLIGENCE AND KNOWLEDGE BASED SYSTEMS."
"That sounds serious!" Peter the Ace interjected.
"Yeah!" Panman agreed. "But I'm sure it won't happen."
"Blenheim?" Peter the Ace said. "Plot a course through
the canyons that will allow us to visually search all areas in a minimum
amount of time."
"WHAT ARE CANYONS?"
Peter the Ace looked at Panman. "I think it's happened." He
"Blenheim?" Panman asked. "Where are we?"
"I HAVE FORGOTTEN."
"Shit!" Panman exclaimed. "What do we do now?"
"We will have to rely on our own massive IQs!" Peter the Ace
replied, switching all systems to manual.
The Blenheim, shieldless, full of holes and with a mindless computer,
began its visual search for Jayne Eye-Catcher and Belinda.
Jayne Eye-Catcher pulled herself along the ledge, leaving a trail of rich
oxygenated blood as she did so.
"Do you really think that you can escape me?" Kathwoman asked,
stomping on Jayne Eye-Catcher's left shin.
Jayne Eye-Catcher winced with pain and attempted to grab her blaster which
was lying close by. Kathwoman cracked her whip hard. The weapon was flung
into the air and disappeared down into the deep lava pit that bubbled
"Burn!" Kathwoman shouted, aiming her pistol at Jayne Eye-Catcher's
A brief and bright burst of light appeared behind the queen of all evil,
closely followed by a reverberating thump sound.
A stunned look of mystification appeared on Kathwoman's face. She looked
down at the smouldering hole that had appeared where her left breast had
once been. She slowly turned around. Belinda, still dangling upside down
above the lava, had somehow managed to free her hands and grab hold of
the mini-fusion pistol that she kept secretly hidden somewhere on her
"You're the one that's burning!" Belinda laughed, pointing at
"Bitch!" The empress of hell screamed.
Kathwoman aimed her own pistol at Belinda and fired. Jayne Eye-Catcher's
young, well toned assistant had no time to return fire. She screamed as
the potent beam of energy blazed through her ankles. Within two seconds
she was tumbling, helpless and screaming, into the molten river of doom
hundreds of metres below. Jayne Eye-Catcher peered over the edge of the
ledge with horror as her colleague was incinerated in a flash of light.
She felt a wash of pure hatred massage her soul. With elephantine willpower,
Jayne Eye-Catcher clambered to her feet and charged at Kathwoman who was
staring down into the abyss and laughing sadistically.
"Justice will be done!" Jayne Eye-Catcher yelled as she pushed
the now single breasted, leather clad fiendish one hard in the back. Kathwoman
slipped and fell.
"Ha! " Jayne Eye-Catcher laughed, almost falling herself. She
watched as Kathwoman made her last, five second journey as a biological
being into the glowing magma below.
Jayne Eye-Catcher spoke quietly. "Your death was not in vain, my
dear young Belinda. Your sacrifice has helped rid the galaxy of a most
sickening and wicked creature."
Jayne Eye-Catcher watched the undulating lava for a while as calm returned
to the cavernous cave. Her deep knife wound was still bleeding profusely,
there wasn't much time. She started her climb back to the exit.