“You completely pathetic, muscularly challenged, physically contorted,
emotionally weak minded nincompoop with a mental capacity less than equal
to that of a small water vole!”
Chief Officer Chimpapazapadon cowered on the floor of Amino Battle Command
as Commander Pepe bellowed down at him from the balcony above.
“How dare you give the order to destroy Justin without asking for
my divine permission first!” the commander screamed. “You’re
not even allowed to boil coffee without consulting me!!!”
The chief officer looked up from his lowly position. “I was only doing
what I thought was...”
“Shut up!” shrieked Commander Pepe. “I have informed the
Superior Beings of your insolent conduct and they are not impressed!”
“You told the Superior Beings?!” the chief officer said, quivering.
“Surely my mistake was not important enough to...”
“The Superior Beings are informed of all irregular activities by palace
personnel! An officer in your position who is guilty of gross misconduct
must be severely punished!”
“Punished?! I was only avenging the death of Sarah Savage. Surely
you must sympathise with...”
“I admired and desired her scarred, well-toned body as much as any
mortal,” the commander said, regaining some composure. “But
until her body is found and confirmed to be entirely devoid of life as we
know it, I will not tolerate any actions of revenge how ever tempting they
“Am I forgiven?” the chief officer asked sheepishly.
“No!” Commander Pepe said. His face took on a very serious and
official appearance. “The Superior Beings have ordered me to punish
you in a special way for your insolence.”
The chief officer was flabbergasted. “Special punishment?”
“Chief Officer Chimpapazapadon.” the commander said solemnly.
“In the name of the Superior Beings of the Great Hall of the Palace
of Amino, I relieve you of duty and withdraw all the benefits of the rank
that you hold.”
“No!” the chief officer screamed. “The sauna? The massages?
The scantily clad...”
Commander Pepe ignored him and continued. “In addition, you will suffer
the embarrassment and tedium of being locked up in the palace’s highest
security dungeon for a period of one decade.”
Chief Officer Chimpapazapadon could not believe what he was hearing. “Surely
not the dungeon?” he wailed in a very feminine way. “Please
“When the punishment has been satisfactorily completed, you will return
to duty here at the command centre with the new rank of Trainee Assistant
Drinking Fountain Operator.”
“Oh god, no!” the chief officer cried. “You can’t!
That’s the position in which I started! It’s taken me one hundred
and twenty-eight years to...”
“Silence!” Commander Pepe shouted. “The punishment will
commence immediately. Guards? Take him from this place at once!”
Two heavily armoured security guards appeared and grabbed Chief Officer
Chimpapazapadon. With great strength and precision, they rapidly strapped
the chief officer into a straight jacket and cuffed his ankles together.
Before he could object, he was tightly gagged and blindfolded. Finally,
a black leather bag was placed over his head and tied to his neck. The two
guards took hold of him and dragged the ex-chief officer out of the battle
commanded control centre.
Commander Pepe watched with dismay. Chimpapazapadon had been his Chief Officer
and close friend for almost thirty years. Although he would miss him, his
insolence was intolerable and the harsh punishment necessary to discourage
others from following his example of disobedience.
The commander looked down at his other personnel who had been watching the
arrest and sentencing of Chimpapazapadon. “Back to work!” he
ordered. “I know that you’re all eager to find out who will
replace the disgraced Chimpapazapadon, but you’ll have to wait. I’ll
make my decision after the current crisis is resolved.” The commander
turned and walked towards his massage chamber. He was highly agitated and
Angelina and Sue, naked and wet, met him at the chamber’s steaming
doorway. “Let us release your tension.” they said in sensuous
unison. “Let us calm and relax your entire physical and mental manifestation.”
The commander felt a smile of delight appear on his face.
Lloyd Helmet had returned to the location from where Justin had jumped
onto his ship.
He carefully landed the Daughter Slaughterer in a small clearing within
the western forests and operated the cockpit canopy controls. It opened
with difficulty, the result of damage caused by Justin’s insane
After grabbing a couple of devastating hand weapons of immaculate design,
the bounty hunter leapt out of his ship and landed on the grass. He looked
to the south. He had deep-scanned this region just before setting down,
and had detected something metallic one hundred metres away in that direction.
The sensor signal had been weak, obviously it was far below the surface,
but it was the only signal that had any chance of being the Satyr, Sarah
Savage’s missing ship.
Lloyd Helmet strode confidently into the trees and towards the area that
the scanner had identified. A cave entrance could be seen surrounded by
hundreds of broken and scorched branches. The result of a starship crash?
The bounty hunter was desperate to find out. He entered the dank, dark
cave and energised his standard bounty hunter issue hip mounted floodlight.
A scene of tremendous slime ridden stench filled his eyes and nostrils.
He ignored it and walked into the giant hole’s depths.
The cave was deep and it was several minutes before Lloyd Helmet reached
the end, or at least what he had expected to be the end. This was definitely
where the Satyr had crashed. It’s distinctive plates of armour -
each inscribed with Sarah Savage’s sliced jugular insignia - were
scattered all around. The main hull of the ship however, was missing.
At the back of the cave was a hole. It was a large hole - large enough
to easily engulf the Satyr. Lloyd Helmet walked over to it and shone his
There it was! About forty metres down the shaft lay a dented and crumpled
hull, barely recognisable as a star ship of phenomenal ability.
Lloyd Helmet had to get down there. Sarah Savage could still be alive.
His personal life sensor was not picking up any life signs, but it had
the tendency to overlook weak and near death creatures. With no time to
lose, the bounty hunter activated his waist mounted thruster pack - a
new device still undergoing trials at the Amino Personal Flight Systems
testing ground. Lloyd Helmet had managed to ‘borrow’ one of
the prototypes a couple of days before. He decided that now was the ideal
time to give it a try. Carefully, he applied a small amount of power to
its engines. Slowly, he rose to a height of a metre above the ground.
Excellent! With more confidence, he floated out over the shaft. His feet
were now dangling over the forty metre deep hole. “Bloody useful
gadget!” he said excitedly.
The device failed.
Lloyd Helmet fell. Frantically the bounty hunter tried to reactivate his
propulsion packs. He succeeded, but it only made his situation worse.
The brief burst of thrust flipped him over just as he was about to hit
With an immense ‘clunk’, Lloyd Helmet’s un-helmeted
head slammed into the ship’s hull. His skull shattered, pulverising
his brain and eliminating all sentience. The relatively undamaged but
headless body that was once Lloyd Helmet slumped limply onto the shaft’s
Reliable as always, the standard bounty hunter issue hip-mounted floodlight
continued to illuminate the surrounding rock face.