Peter the Ace, Panman, and Ross Mental looked down through the large oval viewing
window into the lower cargo bay. The bay doors were fully open and the emptiness
of deep space clearly visible.
A few dozen metres below the open doorway was the warrior babes’ ship,
the Drug Abuser. The ship was gently nudging something swollen and repulsive.
It was the seemingly lifeless lump-being, Pys Phecees.
The door to the viewing room opened. Jemima Murma entered; her baggy sky
blue nightgown billowed around her. She was carrying a large bucket of popcorn.
“I thought you’d like a snack to help you enjoy the show.”
Panman grabbed the bucket. “What a cool idea!” He said, scooping
out a huge handful. He crammed the popcorn hard into his mouth. Fragments
scattered across the room, ricocheting off the window.
Jemima Murma smiled, and then headed out of the room.
“Stay and watch, if you like.” Peter the Ace offered.
“Thank you.” The Blenheim’s assistant said sweetly. “But
I must get back up to the Hooded Whore. Sebastian Blood requires more of
Peter the Ace spoke sternly. “You are the assistant on board this
vessel, not the Hooded Whore.”
Jemima Murma bowed her head. “Of course. Please forgive me. I assumed
that my services extended to your guests, as well as yourself and Panman.”
Peter the Ace grinned. “Correct! Just a little test. Please return
to your duties. But don’t over exert Mister Blood, we may need him
Jemima Murma bowed once more, and then quickly left the room.
“That Sebastian Blood is one lucky fucker!” Ross Mental announced.
Panman pointed down into the cargo bay. “Look! The lumpy duded is
The unconscious lump-being was now floating right at the doorway to the
Panman activated the communicator. “One more hard shove should do
“OK.” Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress shrieked.
“Here we go.”
With a quick burst of its thrusters, the Drug Abuser gave Pys Phecees one
last nudge. The lump-being tumbled cleanly into the cargo bay. Immediately,
the artificial gravity field of the Blenheim took hold, sending the lump-being
crashing to the floor.
Panman laughed. “Nice work, warrior babes!”
“No problem.” Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress
screamed. “It was fun!”
With a dexterous sweep of his right hand Panman touched the close button
for the cargo bay door. As soon as the door was closed, Panman pressurised
“Right.” Peter the Ace said, heading for the door. “Let’s
go down and cage our corpulent friend before he awakes.”
The lump-being’s thick hide looked pallid and lifeless.
“He looks like a fuckin’ goner to me.” Ross Mental said,
kicking Pys Phecees with his new left leg. The lump-being shuddered with
the force of the impact. “Just a pile of dead meat.”
Panman pulled out a small medical scanner from his utility belt and pointed
it in the direction of the lump-being. “He’s still alive –
barely. He should recover.”
Peter the Ace was stood in front of the large rust-coloured cage at the
other side of the bay. He operated a small control panel at one corner.
With a hiss, whirr, and clunk, the powerful locking mechanism of the cage
released. The cage’s heavy door swung open slowly.
Peter the Ace stood to one side. “Right. Roll him in.”
Ross Mental and Panman began pushing on the blubbery mass of Pys Phecees.
The lump-being rolled over like a sodden bean bag, flopping onto his buttocks.
The two bounty hunters pushed again. This time, the rolling action squeezed
out a burst of cloudy duodenal gas.
Ross Mental screwed up his face. “Ugly smelly fat fuck!” The
foul-mouthed bounty hunter said with disgust. He kicked the lump-being
hard. The force of the kick rolled Pys Phecees half way over.
“Good idea!” Panman said. He gave the lump-being another hard
kick to keep up the momentum. Pys Phecees rolled over twice, coming to
rest at the lip of the cage door.
Peter the Ace grabbed the back of the lump-being’s thick head. “Let’s
get him inside.”
Ross Mental and Panman grabbed hold of the lump-being’s body. In
unison, the three top class bounty hunters lifted, and then crammed Pys
Phecees awkwardly through the cage door. With a final shove, the lump-being
was thrown onto the hard cage floor. A dull clang echoed around the cargo
Peter the Ace manipulated the control panel on the cage. The cage door
swung shut, locking with a thunderous whirr and clank. The cage bleeped
twice. “Let’s hope that the cage is strong enough to hold
“No problem.” Panman said. “If that giant diseased cow
couldn’t escape, that wind-breaking evil dude certainly can’t.”
“Good point.” Peter the Ace said. “Well, I guess our
work here is done.”
Panman agreed. “I guess it is. Bit of an anti-climax really. The
real fun is going to be back at the palace when that emitter fires. That’s
going to be one mother of a show!”
Ross Mental nodded. “I hope someone remembers to record the whole
“No problem there.” Panman said. “The palace’s
defence systems will automatically record everything from several thousand
different positions both inside and outside the palace, and then store
the data in a deep archive hundred of kilometres away. Even if the palace
is destroyed we’ll still be able to view then whole event.”
Peter the Ace activated his communicator. “Drug Abuser. The lump-being
is secured in the cage. You both did a great job getting that fat thing
into our cargo bay. Dock with our lower port and come onboard. It’s
time to reward ourselves with a little celebration.”
“Oh! Thank you.” Suzanne Nag-Witch replied. “It will
be an honour!”
“I’m sure it will be. Blenheim out.” Peter the Ace looked
in the cage containing the unconscious Pys Phecees. He sighed, “You
know, I’ve lost interest in that large and revolting wind-breaker.”
He turned to Panman. “But what I am interested in is that extra
patient you said you’d found for the cyborg construction unit.”
Panman nodded. “Oh, yeah! She’s cool!”
“Excellent! Let’s go and have a look, shall we?”