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Book: Vengeance of the Lump-Being
Chapter 38: Leather-Clad Cockpit

“We’re barely gaining on it!” Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress shrieked, swinging wildly on her chair. “And we’re at full thrust! That is one fast little ship.” She turned to her colleague and screamed. “Got a lock yet?”

Suzanne Nag-Witch shook her head. “No. It’s out of range for atmospheric weapons.”

The saucer ship suddenly altered direction, heading straight up.

“Ha!” Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress Laughed. “It just left the atmosphere! Foolish lump!” She pulled back on her control stick, sending the Drug Abuser into a steep climb. Within seconds the atmosphere was left behind. The bounty hunter engaged the sub-light engines.

The delicious sensation of extreme acceleration played with their chained bodies.

“Oh yes!” Suzanne Nag-Witch said, gazing at her controls. “Closing to ten thousand kilometres. A little closer and I’ll be able to target the engine section.”

With a sweep of her slender right hand, Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress modified the ship’s intercept vector. The closing speed with the saucer ship increased rapidly.

Suzanne Nag-Witch was pleased. “Oh! That’s good!” She played with her controls. “Initiating a detailed scan of the target vessel.”

“Ha!” Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress shouted. “That lumpy bastard is about to loose all power!”

“Oh my, no!” Suzanne Nag-Witch exclaimed. “No readings!”

“What?”

“The scan revealed nothing more than a smooth uniform hull!” She looked at her screechy companion. “There’s no discernable engine section. How do we stop it?”

Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress thought hard and deep for several seconds. Then she shuddered with obvious delight, her chains rattling noisily. “There’s only one thing we can do in this situation.”

Suzanne Nag-Witch smiled. “Is it what I think it is?”

Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress narrowed her eyes. “Could be. What do you think it is?”

“Shoot it anywhere and just hope we don’t destroy it?”

Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress grinned. “Exactly!”

Suzanne Nag-Witch giggled, and then played with her controls. “This is going to be very entertaining… Pheuronic disruptor locked. Firing in three… two… one… now!”

The leather-clad cockpit of the Drug Abuser lit up a dazzling shade of blue as a fuzzy beam of energy leapt forth from the ship’s underside. Instantly, the beam connected with the saucer ship, and burst into a bright flare of destruction.

Suzanne Nag-Witch was delighted. “Oh yes!” She pointed at the magnified view of the saucer ship on her console’s screen. “Delightful!”

Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress was examining some data. “Delightful to watch, maybe, but not in the result. The saucer was hardly damaged at all!”

Suzanne Nag-Witch’s expression saddened. “Oh dear. And that was a high power discharge, too.” She thought for a moment. “I could try a solid projectile weapon?”

“Yes!” Her companion shrieked. “They can be the coolest weapons of all, when used in the right situation.”

Suzanne Nag-Witch examined the ship’s inventory list. “We have five thousand titilatinium-tipped thirty millimetre bullets.” She looked at her companion. “You know, I don’t believe we’ve ever fired our projectile gun before!”

Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress screamed her agreement. “I think you’re right. It’s about time we let loose a few rounds, don’t you think?”

Suzanne Nag-Witch jiggled her generous breasts with joyous anticipation. She clattered her fingers over her controls. “This is going to be cool as can be!”

There was a low rumble as the projectile gun energised.

Suzanne Nag-Witch’s console bleeped. “Ready.”

A targeting grid appeared on the large heads-up display suspended in front of the Drug Abuser’s multi-paned forward view port.

Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress modified the ship’s course. Three sets of crosshairs on the heads-up display drifted together, merging into a green star shape. “Lined up. Do it!”

Suzanne Nag-Witch touched her fire control. An impressive buzzing sound zoomed around the cockpit as the projectile gun unleashed a spray of the titilatinium-tipped bullets. The bullets, fired at a rate of more than one hundred per second, sped towards their target an extraordinary pace.

A few seconds later, the first bullets hit. Thousands of holes and small dents appeared across the saucer ship’s hull, and small chunks of metal scattered in all directions. Several fluid leaks could clearly be seen.

Suzanne Nag-Witch ceased fire. She examined her screens. “Oh yes! Plenty of damage! It’s stopped accelerating.” She turned to her companion, beaming like a child with a Tigger doll. “It’s adrift! We’ve done it!”

“Sweet victory!” Ginny the Screech ‘n’ Wail Mistress shrieked, an immoral grin creeping across her face. “Let’s go and get our lump-filled prize!”

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