Commander Pepe groaned. “Oh yes! Yes, my dear. Marvellous!”
Hazel Lazernipelz, blissfully drugged and willing, sat astride the commander’s
well-proportioned buttocks, rubbing her oiled and naked body up and down
her master with expert precision. She leaned forwards and began massaging
his shoulders, resting her generous breasts on his hairy back. She whispered,
her voice slightly slurred. “Feeling refreshed?”
The commander smiled. “Oh yes!” he said with a sigh. “This
is the only way to finish the day.” He turned his head and gazed out
of the massive west-facing panoramic window. The huge majestic towers of
the central districts could be seen, standing tall and proud against a beautiful
amber sunset. A myriad of small craft navigated over and around the buildings,
carving smooth automated arcs. The end of yet another fine and peaceful
day at the Palace of Amino.
“Shall we bathe?” Hazel said breathlessly.
“A fine idea!”
Hazel rolled off the commander and stepped down into the bubbling whirlpool
bath right in front of the window. She smiled sweetly, and then held her
arms open. “Please join me.”
Commander Pepe sat up. His blubbery frame rippled from the sudden movement.
He stepped down towards Hazel, drawn to her nude and alluring body. The
feel of the warm foaming water around his colossal waist only amplified
his desire. He reached out and cupped one of her breasts, squeezing gently.
“It was wise of me to recruit you to my personal staff. Your skills
are outstanding. And it’s only your first night on the job!”
Hazel smiled, and then reached under the water. She felt her way through
several thick folds of flab then gripped the commander’s firm member.
“Just think what I’ll be like on my hundredth night.”
The commander chuckled. “I can’t wait to find out!”
The small comms unit at the side of the bath bleeped three times. Its display
lit up, flashing the words ‘Profoundly Critical’.
“Damn it!” the commander said, smashing his fist into the water.
He turned to Hazel. “This is not for your ears. Leave me now.”
She nodded, gave his manhood one last tug, and then stepped out of the bath.
Commander Pepe watched her as she walked away across the tiled floor. Water
trickled down her tanned body, glinting orange in the low and deepening
sunlight. As she reached the doorway she turned and smiled, caressing her
left nipple. “I’ll be in your bed pleasuring myself if you need
me.” She walked out of the bathroom, the door sliding silently shut
The commander turned to the comms unit, trying to ignore the ache in his
groin. He read the name of the caller, and then pressed the answer pad.
“This had better be important, Weezil!”
“I’m afraid it’s gravely important, sir.” Chief
Officer Weezil Sagifagpakit said. “Please come down to Amino Battle
The commander frowned. “What in heaven’s flames could be that
“We’ve received a transmission from Peter the Ace and Panman.
They’re currently in the Gun-Loc system way out in the…”
“Damn it! I know where they are! What was in the transmission?”
The chief officer paused for a second, and then spoke solemnly. “It
was encoded DEEPSHIT.”
The commander’s eyes widened. That was all he needed to hear. “I’ll
be down in fifteen minutes. Assemble all my senior staff.”
Commander Pepe ended the call, cursed under his breath, and then hauled
his corpulent frame out of the water. He walked towards the bathroom door.
“Hazel?” he shouted.
After a few seconds, the bathroom door slid open. Hazel Lazernipelz stood
there, naked, and still damp.
The commander spoke. “I have urgent business to attend to.”
He pointed down. “Finish me quickly.”
Hazel giggled, licked her lips, and then got to her knees.
The curved double doors opened. Commander Pepe heaved his flabby bulk
out of his armchair, and then stepped out of his luxurious private elevator
and into the cavernous confines of the impressive Amino Battle Command.
Carved into solid rock almost two kilometres below the Palace of Amino,
Amino Battle Command was the nerve centre of the Palace of Amino’s
astounding defence systems, and a practically impenetrable fortress where
the commander and his staff could direct and monitor the missions of thousands
of bounty hunters across the galaxy.
The commander looked up. A large light on the dark high ceiling pulsed
a dim shade of purple. The alert status had been raised to lavender-blue.
He walked onto his private balcony, his robes dragging across the sumptuous
red carpet, and looked down at the arrays of control consoles below. There
was a lot of commotion as the battle command staff scurried about their
business. Far more commotion than he had seen for many years. A wave of
stress passed over his generously proportioned frame. This did not bode
well. Whatever was happening, it looked like the period of peace, tranquillity,
and daylong sensual massage sessions was over - at least for the time
Chief Officer Weezil Sagifagpakit approached. “We are all in the
main situation room, sir.” He said.
The commander nodded. “Let’s go.”
The chief officer turned and headed across the balcony, passed Commander
Pepe’s personal battle command massage chamber, and through an arched
open doorway – another elevator. The commander followed.
The elevator spoke, its voice the epitome of female sensuality. “Destination?”
“Main situation room.” The chief officer said.
The doors closed. After taking a second to silently authenticate its passengers,
the elevator began a rapid descent.
Commander Pepe turned to Chief Officer Weezil Sagifagpakit. “How
bad is it?”
The chief officer answered, keeping his gaze fixed on the elevator doors.
“The Palace of Amino is in grave danger.”
The commander glowered. “I know that, you fool! That’s what
the DEEPSHIT encoding means!”
“Sorry, sir.” The chief officer said, bowing his head. “The
message from Peter the Ace and Panman was heavily encrypted. The decryption
process was not yet complete when I came up to meet you. I have only seen
fragments of the message so I don’t really know much yet. It should
be ready to view as soon as we reach the situation room.”
“So? What did the fragments you saw show you?”
Chief Officer Weezil Sagifagpakit swallowed hard. “It does look
as though the palace could be vaporised within three days.”
The commander took in a sharp breath, holding back a flood of profanity.
The elevator drew to a halt. “Sub-level 612 - main situation room.”
It said, sweetly. The doors opened.
The chief officer and the commander stepped out into a large oval reception
area. The room was decorated in the blue and gold colours of the Palace
of Amino insignia, and circled with the portraits of many high-class bounty
hunters. The portraits always inspired the commander in times of stress.
He looked at the images of Peter the Ace and Panman – the largest
in the room. An inspiring sight – just what he needed right now
at this time of great uncertainty.
Sally Phatbytch, the main situation room’s plump and mildly repulsive
administrator, greeted the commander. “Welcome, sir. May I get you
“Filet steak – rare!” Commander Pepe said as he and
the chief officer walked by.
“Would you like fries with that?” Sally asked.
“Of course, but no vegetables – I hate those things! And bring
me a litre of root beer, too!”
The chief officer and the commander entered the main situation room. Like
the reception area, the main situation room was oval in shape, but much
larger, with a shallow blue domed ceiling and a ten-metre wide dark wood
oval table at the centre. The entire wall of the room was made of view-screen
panels, each currently displaying the Palace of Amino Battle Command Insignia.
At more than three kilometres below the surface, the main situation room
was one of the deepest and most secure locations in the palace, second
only to the cavern of the Superior Beings, more than a kilometre further
Commander Pepe’s six most senior staff members were present. They
all got to their feet and bowed as their commander entered.
“Be seated.” The commander said. He took his wide red leather
seat at the head of the table. The senior officers sat back down.
Chief Officer Weezil Sagifagpakit walked to the far side of the room.
“Right, Weezil.“ Commander Pepe said, pouring himself a very
large glass of Ded’Hed Spirit. “Explain what’s going
The chief officer nodded. “Twenty minutes ago we received a heavily
encrypted message from Peter the Ace and Panman. The message was encoded
The senior staff members gasped.
General Jenny Talwartz, however, did not share her colleague’s shock
and amazement. “We are in imminent danger of destruction?”
the head of the Palace of Amino Long-Range Intelligence Department (PALID)
said. She frowned. “Surely an error! My staff perform hourly deep-scan
in all directions. We have detected nothing even remotely threatening
to the palace, and haven’t done since the Mechanism incident almost
fourteen years ago!”
“The palace’s deep-scanners have a maximum range of five thousand
light years.” The chief officer said. “This threat is almost
thirty thousand light years away.”
The senior staff members gasped once more.
All except Jenny Talwartz. She shook her head. “I cannot believe
some thing that far away can be an imminent danger to the palace. My scans
are more than adequate to warn us of…”
Commander Pepe slammed his glass down on the table. Ded’Hed Spirit
splashed across the table. “Enough!” He glared at the general.
“We have yet to see what this threat is. I do not see how you can
dismiss it so easily.”
The head of long-range intelligence lowered her head. “Sorry, sir.”
The commander nodded to his chief officer. “Continue. And no more
The chief officer spoke, reading off a small data-pad. “The message
contains a presentation of the threat. The presentation has just this
minute been decoded.” He reached out and touched the view-screen
on the wall behind. “Please watch carefully.”
The entire wall of the main situation room flickered to life. The personal
insignia of Peter the Ace and Panman appeared briefly, followed by the
insignia of the Blenheim overlaid with a copyright message and a warning
about unauthorised copying and distribution.
The senior staff members watched in expectant silence as the lights dimmed
and the presentation began.
Sally Phatbytch entered the room. Silently, she walked over to Commander
Pepe and placed a plate of filet steak and fries, and a tall root beer
in front of him.
“Thank you.” The commander said quietly. “Now leave!”
Sally nodded, and then left the room.
After five minutes of stunning high definition visuals and sixteen-channel
surround-sound, the presentation was over. And so was Commander Pepe’s
The commander leaned back, letting out a loud and guttural burp followed
by a muffled fart. “Opinions?”
“We’re doomed!” The head of internal defence, Harrison
Ectoplasm, said. He was clearly disturbed. “It’s the most
powerful weapon ever seen. It will fire in two days, and destroy us in
three! What can we possibly do?!” He broke down and sobbed openly.
The commander glared at Harrison, but said nothing.
“Hmm…” Jenny Talwartz said. She was still quite dismissive.
“It certainly does seem a great threat, but as our three top bounty
hunters are out there I think we can be confident that they’ll prevent
it firing. There is nothing we need do.”
Commander Pepe was not at all happy. “Peter the Ace, Panman, and
Ross Mental are certainly the greatest heroes in the galaxy, and skilled
beyond reason, but even they are not infallible! We must assume the worst
– that that weapon will fire in three days. What can we do to prevent
the destruction of the Palace of Amino?”
Woody Tiptoe, the head of external defence, spoke calmly. “The beam
produced by that weapon is far more powerful that anything the palace’s
defence shield is able to absorb. If it fires, we must find a way of dissipating
as much of its energy as possible before it reaches us.”
“Good idea.” The commander said. “But how?”
“Obviously, something must be placed in its path.” Woody said
“Such as what?”
The head of the Bounty Hunter fleet, Admiral Marmaduke P Phutphungus had
an idea. “A mass of ships, with their shields focused towards the
oncoming beam, could dissipate some of the energy.” He said as he
fiddled with his thick grey moustache.
The commander looked concerned. “It would take an awful lot of ships,
would it not?”
“Indeed it would.”
“And it would mean the certain destruction of those ships, would
“I would need to study the data more thoroughly, but yes, I suspect
many would be destroyed. But I see no other option in the time we have.”
Commander Pepe thought for a moment. “Hmm… It does seem like
the only option at present.” He looked around the table. “What
do the rest of you think of Admiral Phutphungus’s plan?”
Woody Tiptoe said. “It’s worth a shot.”
Madam Sambina Rolipoli, the triple-breasted head of food and beverage
distribution, had not understood anything in the presentation, or what
was now being discussed. Chewing on a large clump of her straight black
hair, she said, “Sounds good to me!”
The chinless and hairless head of entertainment, Cyclone Joe Maloney,
was similarly clueless. “Go for it, I say!”
General Jenny Talwartz still refused to believe there was a threat. “A
waste of time. That weapon will not fire.”
Harrison Ectoplasm continued sobbing, his head buried in his arms on the
“Right,” the commander said. “Admiral Phutphungus, start
building the fleet you require. Recall as many bounty hunters and their
ships as you see fit.”
The head of the bounty hunter fleet nodded, and then saluted. “Yes,
“Woody, do everything you can to increase the strength of the palace’s
“I will, sir.”
“General Talwartz, focus all your scans in the direction of the
Gun-Loc system. We’ll need you to warn us as soon as you detect
that beam approaching.”
The general folded her arms and shook her head. “It won’t
“Do as I order!” the commander yelled.
Jenny Talwartz looked at the commander. She nodded. “If you insist,
“I do!” The commander turned to Madam Sambina and Cyclone
Joe. “You two carry on as normal. Delicious food and top quality
entertainment are essential to keep morale and motivation high.”
They both nodded.
“Harrison?” The commander said quietly.
Harrison looked up, and wiped the stream of tears from his cheeks. “Yes,
sir?” he blubbered.
Commander Pepe stood and shouted at the top of his voice. His ample gut
undulated noticeably under his heavy robes. “You’re fired!”