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Book: The Kretins of Doctor Combobulay
Chapter 32: A Curvaceous Beauty Named Kaela

Jack Cardio gazed through his cockpit’s narrow viewport at the incredible sight ahead. Almost filling the view, the densely armoured might of the 200-metre long Blenheim, almost black against the star field of deep space, drifted like a deadly walrus, its massive engines pulsing through shades of red.

The seventh-class bounty hunter had wished for this moment ever since he had qualified as a bounty hunter, but now that the moment had arrived he found it almost impossible to comprehend. Very few bounty hunters of his class – indeed, very few bounty hunters at all – had ever had the opportunity to get this close to the most famous and formidable ship in the Palace of Amino fleet. And even less had had the opportunity to dock with it. This could possibly be the most momentous moment of his life.

Following an automated flight path, the Gash Station drew alongside the Blenheim’s port side. Jack Cardio watched through the viewport and monitored his wrap-around display-screen as his ship, dwarfed by the Blenheim, slowed and gently connected with the airlock. A rapid series of muffled thuds sounded as docking clamps secured his ship.

Jack Cardio took a moment to relax. He breathed deeply, calming his body and mind. Feeling serene, he operated a control on his chair. Immediately the chair dropped down to his ship’s habitation level, spinning as it did so to face the opposite direction. He was now in his living quarters. Ahead, Justin could be seen through the open hatchway to the cargo bay. He was still lying there, unable to even sit up in the cramped bay. The cyborg’s red emotionless eyes stared back. To the left, the three child survivors were still sitting cross-legged on his bed. They stared at him, their eyes wide and their expressions full of confusion, shock and fear.

The bounty hunter stood and spoke to the children. “You’re all being transferred to another ship. Follow me, please.” He turned to his right and operated a control. A panel on his ship’s starboard side slid open revealing the entrance to the airlock. He pointed. “Go on.”

Justin spoke. “They are unable to understand you. Their language is unknown to Palace of Amino auto-translation devices.”

Jack Cardio scowled. “I know that, cyborg! They understand gestures, don’t they?!” The bounty hunter pointed again. “Now, please.”

Cautiously, the three children climbed off the bed and walked slowly towards the airlock, and then stopped halfway. They looked nervously at Jack Cardio, and then at Justin. With a whirr of servos and hydraulics, the cyborg reached up and pointed to the airlock entrance. The children started walking again and entered the airlock. With a swish of his long brown cloak, the bounty hunter followed.

Justin attempted to squeeze through the cargo bay hatch. “I will accompany you.”

Jack Cardio turned. “No way! You’re too big.”

“I must return to the Blenheim. I am in need of further diagnostic tests, and I have duties to perform.”

“You can’t come this way, idiot! Once were out of here you can seal that hatchway and go out through the external door. I’m sure the Blenheim has plenty of large cargo bays you can get into.”

After a second of digital thought the cyborg responded. “I obey.”

Jack Cardio nodded. “Good.” He turned and joined the children in the airlock. He thought for a moment. For them this was just another bewildering experience to add to all the others they must have gone through since their home world was devastated. He felt sorry for them. There was no way for them to realise just how privileged they were to be visiting the Blenheim. Perhaps one day they would look back on the experience and appreciate the true magnitude of the occasion.


Sind’a Thighs stood at the centre of the Blenheim’s port side reception area and faced the airlock entrance. Despite being surrounded by the luxurious carpeting, artwork, deep leather sofas and subtle ambient lighting, she did not feel relaxed. She felt nervous, excited, sweaty and thirsty. She dreaded meeting Jack Cardio again, but she also craved his presence and warmth.

She was confused.

A control panel next to the airlock bleeped twice, and the light above turned green.

Looking down, the bounty hunter straightened her pink waistband, and then ran her hands over her hips and thighs, pressing out any creases in her white translucent body suit. And then she stood up straight, took a deep breath, and spoke. “Open the airlock.”

With a smooth whoosh, the airlock’s door slid sideways.

Three very clean-looking children stood there, their large cute eyes staring directly at Sind’a Thighs. The bounty hunter stared back at them for a moment, before turning her attention to the tall cloaked figure behind. The figure spread his arms and ushered the children forwards. They all stepped into the sumptuous reception area.

Sind’a Thighs nodded, her heart thumping. “Welcome onboard the Blenheim.”

The children immediately crowded round Sind’a Thighs, naturally drawn to an older female for protection.

“I was hoping you’d be here.” Jack Cardio said.

Sind’a Thighs looked at him. His dreadlocks, flowing down over his broad shoulders, send a shiver of desire through her body, but a sense of shame made her look away. “I guess you’ve heard about my disgraceful performance, then?”

Jack Cardio stroked her cheek. “I was shocked to hear of your failure and the loss of your ship. But from what I gather you’ve more than made up for that. I’m so proud of you!”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Sind’a Thighs looked at him. “Thank you.” Leaning forwards she kissed him deeply.

The dreadlocked bounty hunter responded, wrapping his arms around her. He moved his hands gently down her back until they rested on her toned buttocks. He squeezed. “I missed you. I wish my previous mission had not been so long and remote.”

Sind’a Thighs smiled. “So do I. I was anxious about seeing you again after all this time. I thought you’d have found someone else on your travels and forgotten about me.”

Jack Cardio smiled. “Actually, I did find someone. A curvaceous beauty named Kaela. She’s a stripper on the Damx Elation Station.”

Sind’a Thighs was shocked. She took a step back.

The dreadlocked bounty hunter laughed at her reaction. “Don’t worry! I wanted her for sex only. Her body, although nowhere near as toned, reminded me of yours. Each time I pleasured her I was thinking of you.”

Sind’a Thighs narrowed her eyes. “Sure?”

He nodded. “I used her to release tension. She meant nothing more to me than that.”

Sind’a Thighs signed with relief and smiled. Playfully, she punched his shoulder. “Good!”

Jack Cardio smiled, and then looked around. “It’s hard to believe that I’m actually on board the Blenheim! This is really cool!”

“It is a remarkable ship. I was lucky when Peter the Ace and Panman rescued me from a life of drudgery within the Impaler Community. When I hear other bounty hunters speaking of how much they would like to visit this ship I realise just how fortunate I’ve been. Most of them will never even get close, let alone come onboard.”

Jack Cardio nodded. “You are very lucky. Maybe you could give me a quick tour?”

“Maybe,” she teased, “but first I must take the children to one of the guest quarters.”

“Of course. I’ll come with you, and then we can…”

The communcations panel on the wall of the reception activated. Peter the Ace spoke. “Mister Cardio, thank you for dropping off Justin and the children.

“No problem.”

Sind’a Thighs will take care of them now. Please return to your ship and detach. We are about to reach the Cifitra and could use your assistance.

Jack Cardio’s expression changed momentarily to disappointment, but he quickly regained his composure. “Of course.”

Excellent! Peter the Ace out.

Sind’a Thighs smiled sweetly. “Later?”

Jack Cardio nodded, and then grinned. “Later!” With a swish of his cape, he turned and strode purposefully into the airlock.

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