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Book: The Kretins of Doctor Combobulay
Chapter 19: Idiots

Doctor Combobulay was still at the base of the command centre. See looked up at the terraces and balconies above and yelled. “For the last time, tell me what that was?”

A timid-looking woman, chubby-cheeked and pale, looked down from one of the upper balconies. “There was an explosion, ma’am.”

The doctor trembled. “I assumed that, you pasty cow! Where?”

The pale woman glanced at one of her screens. “It was in the Example Chamber, ma’am.”

“What?!” The doctor exclaimed, frowning. “What’s the status of the Example Canisters?”

“All are compromised, ma’am.”

The doctor placed her hands on either side of her head. “All?!”

“Yes, ma’am. There was a gun battle in there. Apparently the infiltrator and the assistant commandant were there along with quite a few crew members.”

The doctor took a deep breath, calming herself slightly. “Were the infiltrator and that deceitful bitch killed?”

The woman shook her head. “No, ma’am. They escaped. I’m now tracking them in corridor 14-C. They are approaching this deck.”

“Send crew members to stop them! They must not get here!”

“There are many crew members assigned to intercepting them, ma’am, but the infiltrator and the assistant commandant are proving difficult to…”

The doctor screwed her eyes up with rage. “Do not give me excuses!” She breathed noisily. “Show me images of them on the screen. Now!”

The chubby woman nodded. A large view-screen near the doctor flickered to life. The doctor stared at it intently. There, rounding a corner in a corridor, she could see Panman. Next to him was a virtually naked and remarkably slim Roubella Moul. Two crew members appeared behind the two infiltrators and fired their weapons. The doctor watched as Panman’s suit absorbed the energy blasts. The bounty hunter turned and fired, burning a cauterised hole straight through the chest of one of the crew members. The crew member slumped to the floor. Roubella Moul fired, blasting away the other crew member’s right arm. And then she leapt forwards, kicking out hard at her target’s head. The crew member fell backwards and slammed into the floor. His body twitched; his neck vertebrae shattered. The other crew member was still alive. The doctor watched as Panman withdrew a knife from his belt. He stepped over to the fallen crew member and stabbed hard and fast into his left eye. The crew member shuddered as the knife entered his brain, and then shuddered again as Panman twisted and withdrew the blade. Panman and Roubella Moul continued running down the corridor.

Doctor Combobulay was fuming. “This is not acceptable! Is everyone in my crew incompetent useless bungling idiots who die the instant they come into contact with an infiltrator?!”

The chubby woman spoke. “The infiltrator is very powerful, ma’am. He appears to be an expert in all forms of combat, and his suit seems to…”

“Ensure the command centre is sealed! Stop them entering here at all costs!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The doctor turned. “Where are we now!”

A fat wart-covered bald man answered. It was Colonel Hilber Hamblaba. “We’ll be leaving the atmosphere in a couple of minutes, ma’am. We’ll be in a stable orbit in…”

“Forget stable orbits! Take us to my fortress. Now!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Doctor Combobulay moved her chair. “I am going up to my chamber. As soon as I get there I demand an update on the progress of the Kretins attacking that ship, and details on the progress of the primary mission.”

“Of course, ma’am.”

With a whirr of servos and actuators, the doctor and her chair sped out of the command centre.

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