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Book: The Kretins of Doctor Combobulay
Chapter 8: Hideous Body

The two maids rubbed Doctor Combobulay’s naked body with thick sponges, cleansing her with trained and gentle precision.

The doctor grinned as the warm bubbly water washed over her wizened frame. “That feels very good,” she said, tilting her head back slightly and closing her eyes, “so very good.”

One of the maids squeezed her sponge over the doctor’s head, soaking her thinning locks of frail white hair.

There was a gentle beeping sound. One of the maids looked at a control panel next to the doctor’s oval bath. “It is Commandant Fumbla, ma’am. He has an update for you.”

The doctor nodded. “I’ll receive the update in here. Bring him in.”

The maid nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” She walked across the cylindrical chamber and disappeared through a small side exit. The other maid continued washing the doctor’s back.

“Clean my chest.” Doctor Combobulay ordered.

The maid nodded and moved around the side of the bath. After dipping the sponge in the water she began rubbing the doctor’s long sagging breasts.

The other maid returned, accompanied by Commandant Fumbla. He looked resplendent in his blue fur cloak, and his beard was immaculately presented. He was holding a small data-pad. The commandant gazed at the doctor, his expression unable to completely hide his revulsion at what he was seeing.

Doctor Combobulay looked at him and smiled crookedly. “You do not need to hide your disgust, commandant. I am aware of the abhorrent nature of my body. It is a long time since I cared what people thought about my physical appearance.”

The commandant bowed once. “Thank you, ma’am.”

The doctor breathed deeply as the second maid rejoined her companion at the bath. The maid began massaging the old woman’s nipples.

“Well?” The doctor said with mild impatience. “You have an update for me, I believe? Will it result in my having to have another of my subordinates crushed?”

Commandant Fumbla shook his head, and then stroked his beard. “Not this time, ma’am.” He looked down at the data-pad he was holding. “The damaged Kretin has been recovered. The weapons officer onboard is still alive and is driving the Kretin back to its base as we speak. They should arrive within the next fifteen minutes.”

“Very good! The situation is not as bad as we expected. Now there is no evidence to indicate our presence to those who are likely to come looking for the star ship we shot down.”

Commandant Fumbla suddenly looked even more uncomfortable.

Doctor Combobulay frowned and turned, her drooping breasts swinging like emaciated pendulums. “I told you that it’s fine to be revolted by my hideous body! Pull yourself together!”

“It’s not that, ma’am. Some new information has just been sent to me. There is still a small amount of evidence of our presence left on the surface.”

The doctor’s voice deepened to a growl. “Explain?”

“Earlier, when the three Kretins went to destroy the star ship, one of them had one of its arms shot off. It appears that the arm was not recovered. It must still be out on the plain.”

The doctor sighed, her voice now more of a crackle than a growl. Her eyes narrowed. “So, incompetence still infests some of my crew members, doesn’t it?”

The commandant nodded. “It appears so, ma’am.”

“It looks like I’ll have to have yet another of them crushed, after all! Who is the new leader of the Kretin control team?”

Commandant Fumbla looked down at his data-pad. “Dungot Tooula, ma’am.”

“Inform Dungot that I am flabbergasted by his stupidity. Have him escorted to the upper airlock immediately. Take this ship to a depth of two kilometres and expel him. Once he’s crushed to the correct size have his body placed with appropriate labelling in the Example Chamber with the others.”

The commandant bowed. “Of course, ma’am.”

“Assign a new leader for the Kretin control team, and then send a Kretin back to the plain to recover the arm.”

“Immediately, ma’am.” With a swish of his fur cloak, the commandant turned.

“One more thing, commandant?”

The commandant stopped and turned to look at the doctor. “Yes, ma’am?”

“Which base is that damaged Kretin from?”

“Fanoog Base, ma’am. Off the east coast of the Sthoog Peninsula.”

“Take us there. I wish to meet the remaining crew member of that Kretin.”

“It will take a day to…”

Doctor Combobulay yelled, her voice breaking up into crackles. “Do as I order!”

Commandant Fumbla bowed, turned with another swish of his cloak, and left the chamber.

The doctor sighed and took a couple of deep wheezing breaths to relax. “Help me lay back.”

The two maids supported the withered doctor as she lay back into the water.
The doctor looked at each maid. “If only all my crew were as wonderful as you two.”

The maids’ spoke in unison, the tone of their voices high and appreciative. “Thank you, ma’am.”

“Leave me now. I wish for a few minutes of quiet contemplation.”

The maids nodded, and then scurried out of the chamber.

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